Every one of us has an innate desire to be liked by others. We want to make friends with everyone we encounter, have unrestricted confidence in those we label friends, and confide our secrets in them. At times, we convince ourselves that we’re charming, witty, and have a number of other great traits that make others want to be friends with us. However, you can’t help but be irritated by the fact that certain people detest you for some reason.
There may be various reasons as to why people might dislike us but sometimes, it is us who becomes the cause of it. Here are 5 common mistakes that we do that make people dislike us.
1. A bad first impression 7 seconds
When meeting someone or having a conversation with someones, just the first 7 seconds is enough to decide if you are likable or not. Making eye contact and speaking with a smile will make the person you are talking to feel comfortable because it mirrors your energy. Be it an interview, presentation, or a date, what you do for the first few seconds really matters. The energy, the enthusiasm that you display will determine the mood for the entire conversation.
2. Reacting defensively to laughter
Now we all hate it when someone laughs at us or makes fun of what we’re saying but that doesn’t mean we need to take everything seriously. Sometimes, jokes are just merely a joke and nothing more. Most people become defensive when they are made fun of. It all depends on how you take it. If someone laughs at you, you have the power to decide if they are laughing at you or with you, and hence you decide the vibe. To make the situation calm, you could just laugh along and prove the point you want them to see. By doing so, it will be more interesting and you will get your listener to listen more closely to you.
3. Hiding your weaknesses
We all have weaknesses. But sometimes, admitting them doesn’t mean it will give us a bad impression. What makes you look bad is when you try hiding them. Take the dating world, for example, you want to look perfect and flawless in front of your significant other but the truth is they are not expecting that. When you open up and admit your weakness, it shows that you’re brave and you accept that not everything and everyone is perfect. And hence, you have a similarity there. If you try to hide your weakness, people might just think you are dishonest and boasting which makes them dislike you all the more.
4. Not answering the question behind the question
Sometimes it’s just a straightforward query with no hidden meaning. People are sometimes afraid to communicate what’s actually on their minds, whether out of fear, uncertainty, or intimidation. They pose inquiries or make remarks that are just innuendos of a larger problem. For instance, here the question was how to know if the product actually worked. If the presenter would have just said he doesn’t know the percentage of time it works but his customers have given a good rating, the reaction of these viewers would have been different. Often the question is so simple but instead of answering the question, we wander elsewhere and this causes people to have a bad impression on us.
5. Being critical of a person rather than pointing to a specific behavior
The key to this is by separating the person from the specific behavior you dislike. A lot of time we classify a person as a whole instead of pointing out that particular character. Like with a friend, we automatically call them a lousy friend when they are not hygienic. Instead, you could have pointed out that hygiene aspect rather than calling them a bad friend fully. By doing so, it causes people to think we are being disrespectful and will make them dislike us.
Sources: Charisma on Command