Have you ever wondered what are the signs of codependency in a relationship? However, do you know what codependency is?
What is Codependency?
Generally, as defined by the Cambridge dictionary, codependency is when a person helps to cause another person’s alcohol problem, drug addiction, etc. Codependency happens when they have strong emotional needs over the people they love. These days, this term is more nuanced and reflects many definitions according to situations.
Codependency can be harmful as you target your energy to another person’s upbringing without considering your needs and desires. To simplify, codependency is similar to selflessness and empathy. You are focused on your significant other’s needs, but you are no longer in tune with your feelings. Not only that, your mood depends on how your partner behaves around you. If they are happy, so do you. And vice versa.
A marriage and family therapist from Tarzana, CA, Vicki Botnick, explains that codependency is “forgetting where you end and your partner begins” as both of you exist simultaneously (but your partner’s urges surpass yours).
What are the traits?
Characteristics of a codependent person are:
- Disconnected from their needs and desires
- Promote unhealthy relationship dynamics
- Self-worth and overall well-being are no longer their priority
Four main themes of codependent behavior are:
- Endless self-sacrifice
- Focus only on others
- The urge to control inflicts problems
- Oblivious of repressed emotions
Main Signs if Your Partner is Codependent:
- A constant thirst for approval
- Believing in their self-worth according to what others think about them
- Carries more burden than they can handle to lighten the burden
- Wants to be praised for their deeds
- Takes the blame for things they are not accountable for to maintain peace
- Prefers avoiding conflict
- Turns a blind eye to their desires
- Overly concerned about their partner’s habits or behaviors
- Takes the upper hand by making decisions for others
- Experiences guilt whenever they do things for themselves
- Doing things for the sake of others
- Idealizing their partners to maintain unfulfilled relationships
- Extensive fear of rejection or abandonment
Ways Not to be a Codependent Partner:
- Spend some alone time
- Pursue your interests
- Acknowledge your needs
- Prioritize yourself
- Don’t be afraid to be selfish
Codependency can be nourishing and destructive. There are many ways to break toxic codependency from affecting your love life. Thus, always refer to professionals for further help and enhance your understanding of this term.
Do watch this video from Psych2Go to know what are the other signs of codependency.
Source: PsychCentral, Psych2Go, Cambridge dictionary, Vicki Botnick