It’s Time to ‘Jaga Tepi Kain Orang’? Why Silence Is Fueling Domestic Violence Behind Closed Doors
Did you know that about one-third of women worldwide have experienced violence by an intimate partner? Shockingly, that includes 27% of women aged 15 to 49, according to the WHO.
Domestic violence in marriage is often misunderstood as physical harm alone. In reality, it extends far beyond bruises and broken bones.
It includes:
- Sexual coercion
- Emotional manipulation
- Psychological control
- Economic abuse
At its core, domestic violence is about power. In many households, fear becomes a tool to feed the abuser’s ego and reinforces a false sense of superiority.
Control is mistaken for authority, and violence is used to maintain dominance rather than resolve conflict.
Thanks to Dr. Nur Annizah Ishak (Senior Lecturer at the Department of Political Science, Public Administration and Development Studies, University of Malaya), we can now see the harsh reality of abuse behind the name of ‘love’.
Behind Closed Doors
Actually, domestic violence is not a rare problem. In fact, it is a nationwide issue worth full attention.
Sadly, it is frequently overlooked because society continues to frame it as a “private family matter,” unworthy of public discussion or intervention.
The long-standing mindset of “don’t mind other people’s business” has been passed down across generations, often under the guise of preserving harmony or positivity.
Ironically, this misplaced desire to “protect” families ends up protecting abusers instead.
Unfortunately, victims are often burdened with shame. Many fear being judged by society, blamed for the abuse, or labelled as someone who “failed” to protect their marriage.
Instead of receiving empathy, they are pressured to remain silent while enduring violence to uphold social expectations as the “perfect” spouse.
Why Does Domestic Violence Persist?
Domestic violence is deeply rooted in cultural norms, gender stereotypes, and ancestral beliefs.
Men are often portrayed as the pillar of the household; strong, dominant, and authoritative.
While women and younger family members are expected to obey without question.
This imbalance creates an environment where women are facing a much higher risk of abuse.
Jaga Tepi Kain Orang, When Action Speaks Louder Than Knowledge
Awareness alone is not enough. Many people understand that domestic violence is wrong, yet there remains a significant gap between knowledge and the willingness to act.
A study conducted by researchers from the University of Malaya involving 2,081 women of reproductive age in Malaysia highlights this gap:
- 70% of victims sought help from family members
- Only 28% reported the abuse directly to authorities
Why the hesitation?
Victims often fear backlash from their abuser. Even worse, social stigma continues to frame them as weak, shameful, or somehow responsible for the abuse they endure.
At the same time, bystanders may lack the confidence to intervene. They constantly worried that exposing the truth could embarrass or further harm the victim.
Silence, once again, becomes the easiest option. But alas, the deadliest one.
The Role of Society: Speak Up, Step In
Wake up, people! Society plays a crucial role in breaking the cycle of domestic violence.
We must move beyond passive sympathy and build active support systems for victims. That includes:
- Public education on the signs of abuse
- More effort in educating individuals about their right to seek help
- Stronger collaboration between the health sector, government agencies, and non-governmental organisations (NGOs) to ensure victims receive professional and effective assistance
Bear in mind that victims should be met with empathy, not judgment. Please be gentle to them along this tough journey.
While abusers MUST be held accountable, not excused by culture or tradition. Remember, violence does not grant power; it exposes a lack of self-worth and self-control.
It’s Time to “Jaga Tepi Kain Orang”
Being a “busybody” is often seen as intrusive. But when lives are at risk, your silence is far more harmful.
Nosy does not mean interfering; it means caring. It means choosing humanity over comfort and justice over tradition.
A healthy family should be built on shared responsibility, mutual respect, and genuine love.
Fathers should be protectors, not perpetrators. Mothers should nurture with love, not fear.
Therefore, children should grow up witnessing cooperation and compassion, not control and cruelty.
So folks, it’s time to break the abuse cycle. Indeed, violence has no place in a household that claims to be built on love.
