KUALA LUMPUR, Feb 15 — It must have been in the wee hours of Jan 11 that my diabetic mother, R. Indera Devi, passed away in her sleep, a handkerchief placed near her chest, and in the position she had always rested. She was 72.
Kidney failure, which mum had been diagnosed with almost five years ago, in 2016, and the unforgiving dialysis had literally drained her of the abundance of strength she possessed and, eventually, her life.
Mum had been an epitome of unconditional love, even in her weakest state. Her face will light up the moment she sees her children and grandchildren – there are five of us children and four grandchildren.
We knew THAT day was coming. Her health had deteriorated drastically over the past six months. We were never prepared, though. No one will ever be, I believe.
Nevertheless, mum was ready to depart. Whenever we visited during the past few months, she will say, “I really want to go”.
The physical and emotional pain must have been unbearable for her. But, never did she show that she was suffering. She got dad to promise not to let us know. Until her kidneys failed, we had no clue that she was already at Stage 3 or 4 of the disease.
Mum was diagnosed as a diabetic when she was 38. She thought that her parents were diabetic and so was she and that she had to reduce her sugar intake.
Little did she share any of that information until the day, in 2016, when her kidneys failed and she couldn’t hide it any longer.
The sign of kidney failure was there two years earlier, in 2014. Even when she stayed with me then during my three-year stint as the Bernama correspondent in New Delhi, she was found to be anaemic.
She convinced me it was a common condition in diabetics. We went to a clinic, got the necessary medicine and life was back to normal. Only recently did I realise that it is an early indication of kidney disease.
Mum was fully aware of her illness. She knew her kidneys were slowly giving up. She had been warned by doctors a year before she came to live with me in India.
She didn’t want any of us to know; she didn’t want to burden us.
While making the arrangements for her final rites, I quipped, “Well, she went to her parents in her favourite month of Margazhi (an auspicious month for Hindus that falls between mid-December and mid-January in the Tamil calendar).”
Mum was a devout person. Margazhi, for her, was all about bhajans, prayers and, most importantly, her favourite act of drawing kolam, the traditional art of floor design.
She will wake up faithfully at 4 am every single day of the month, say her prayers and draw beautiful kolam in front of the house – a pleasing sight also acknowledged by neighbours and passers-by.
When she was much younger, she used to have what I would call a poultry farm, with 40 to 50 chickens and 10 to 20 ducks at any one time, in the “kampung house” where we lived. She would sell the chickens and ducks during festive seasons.
When visitors dropped in on weekends, which was more frequent than seldom, gutsy mum would cook meals for them. This was the case even during the last five years. So long as she was able to stand up, the kitchen belonged to her.
During one of the many admissions to hospital, mum told me she was not aware there was something called dialysis. Her understanding was that she will die once her kidneys fail.
Perhaps, there is not enough explanation or awareness on diabetics and diseases such as kidney failure that come with it or people, like my mum and I, were completely ignorant of.
Has diabetes become so common among Malaysians that the people have stopped taking it seriously?
According to The National Health & Morbidity Survey (NHMS) 2019, the prevalence of diabetes in Malaysia increased to 18.3 per cent in 2019 from 13.4 per cent in 2015, meaning that close to one in five Malaysians has diabetes.
According to reports, there are now about 50,000 people in the country living with dialysis or have had a kidney transplant.
Diabetes is, without a doubt, a life-endangering disease, albeit it kills slowly.
It was obvious that mum hated her four-hour dialysis three times a week, countless medicines and injections, and the physical and emotional pain she had to bear.
She must be at peace now – free of all the pain she endured in the last five years.
We should take diabetics and all illnesses linked to it more seriously, and advice family and friends of its seriousness. Lives can be extended. Early detection and care is always better.
Source: BERNAMA
