Self-love is essential to ensure a better and happier life. But what happens when you do things that might destroy you?
These days, many kinds of destruction to mental and physical health contribute to unwanted endings. For example, excessive stress, peer pressure, and self-degradation may lead to suicidal thoughts and acts.
When we face such troubles, only a few can handle the challenges with an open heart. Yet, it’s almost impossible not to go through obstacles since it’s a part of living.
Yet, you might not realize while trying to live day by day; the things you’re doing are actually harming yourself. So, what do you do that destroy you without realizing it?
How to know you’re destroying yourself?
Dato’ Dr. Fadzilah Kamsah, a known motivational speaker, posted a thread on Twitter that can help you see the ‘red flags’ in yourself.
Ini tanda bahawa kamu sedang menghancurkan diri sendiri. Ikuti thread ini:
1. Jadi ‘people pleaser’ iaitu sentiasa berusaha nak puaskan hati semua orang. Walaupun pada dasarnya kamu tak suka pun buat benda tu.
Kamu penat dan suka kata ‘follow the flow’ je.
— Dato' Dr. Haji Mohd Fadzilah Kamsah (Official) (@fadzilahkamsah_) January 8, 2023
According to the speaker, a people pleaser is when you try to satisfy everyone’s needs without considering your opinions. Even though you disagree to a certain point, you ‘follow the flow’ because you don’t want to argue.
Constantly comparing yourself to others
Sometimes you might ask why other people live a better life than you. Why do they have everything while you don’t?
Retrospectively, Dato’ Fadzillah said we shouldn’t do that. We can only compare ourselves to ourselves from yesterday and not others.
Weirdly, humans have this addiction to being perfect and appearing flawless even though perfection doesn’t exist.
In our minds, we don’t want to have flaws. We can’t make mistakes. And if we do, we’re failures. It’s saddening because failing is a part of learning. But how to be better when we’re so afraid of being imperfect?
Dato’ Fadzillah categorises it as ‘smiling depression’. They will always try to wear a smile, but when alone, they will always cry.
When this happens, you will feel empty and soulless.
Having prejudices towards other people
If you think negatively of someone without knowing them, it will make you look down on them. Not only that, but you’ll also judge them without proof. When you have this mentality, you’ll see everyone as incapable of doing things, and only you can produce quality work.
Therefore, if you’re doing these things to yourself, we hope you’ll take time off to reflect. Make this resolution to love yourself first before anyone else.