Literally, jealousy kills. It’s a negative feeling that leads to many consequences. There are many types of jealousy, but not all of them are equally bad. There’s a term called ‘positive jealousy’ where you envy someone for their achievements, and that feeling motivates you to do better. However, there are more bad connotations of jealousy than good ones.
You feel this way when someone gets more than you do. Additionally, you might feel disrespected because you thought, “It should have been me and not them.” You don’t think they deserve the things they get because they should be yours.
Picture: Fisher College of Business – The Ohio State University
Feelings of resentment can develop into something more serious. There’s a potential for you to be obsessed with the feeling and act on it rashly.
What is jealousy?
There are two types of resentment.
- Envy
- This is when someone has a thing or benefit you want for yourself. For example, a larger paycheck or a bonus.
- Jealousy
- Usually, this feeling exists when you desire something in a relationship (not only a romantic relationship). For instance, you feel jealous when your coworker has a better relationship with your boss than you do.
These emotions, however, can be motivating if you use them wisely. As explained before, if your friend gets a pay raise for their hard work, you want to learn from them and put extra effort into being better: that’s positive jealousy. Yet, not everyone can see this negative feeling in a positive light.
Try practising these steps
1) Control your feelings
It can be damaging not only to yourself but your surroundings. Jealousy doesn’t lead you to get what you envy from other people.
Therefore, if you feel this way towards something or someone, train your mind to take it positively. Let it be your motivation to be better.
2) Focus on yourself
Manage your emotions this way:
- Use decision language
- Instead of seeing yourself as a victim, let yourself be the controller of the situation.
- For example, don’t say, “I didn’t pass the interview.” Say this, “What can I do next time so that I’ll pass future interviews?”
- Focus on the positive
- It doesn’t look much, but having a positive outlook on the world can make a difference.
- Don’t think too much about the negatives.
- Level the playing field
- Take your jealousy to increase and strengthen your work ethic.
- Live a less stressful lifestyle
- Life is too short to be sad or angry. Therefore, if something is petty, let it go. It’s not worth your time stressing about it.
